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Anonymous heart attack victim being interviewed from hospital bed

Absolute Nobody Suffers Second Heart Attack In Two Weeks!

     The Uglier Truth has learned that an absolute nobody in Watertown Massachusetts has suffered his second heart attack in as many weeks. The anonymous person, who shall remain nameless, was shoveling driveways in an attempt to make ends meet for his family when he suffered a massive heart attack. The Uglier Truth had stopped in at the Watertown hospital for a doughnut and a paper to catch the latest on Ariel Sharon's stroke but, unfortunately they were sold out. We then wandered into the patient's room and were leaving with his paper when a nurse entered with a glass of water. She asked if we were family and we said 'yes', which was the genesis of the interview.

     When The Uglier Truth questioned the patient - a contract web developer working for a large corporation - about the circumstances of his heart attack, he said it occurred as he was shoveling a neighbor's drive to make ends meet for him and his family. The Uglier Truth then asked why someone in a technology position at a large corporation would need to shovel driveways. The man responded that he had gone through three agencies to acquire the contract and, after their take, er fees; he did not have enough to live on so he began shoveling driveways for extra money. When asked why such a strenuous endeavour only a week after his first heart attack he replied, "We can't all collect cans!"
medical doctor talking on a cell phone
If he were someone important we could do much more but, as it stands now, this is the extent of what we can offer.


     During the interview a young boy - who was a reporter for the local high school paper - entered the room carrying a camera. The Uglier Truth learned that the boy did not come for an interview nor did he come to visit the man. He initially stopped outside the hospital because a dog had been hit by a car and he wanted to take pictures for his paper. When he saw The Uglier Truth's cameras, he came inside to see what was going on. He left shortly afterward. The Uglier Truth then asked the man if he had heard any updates on Sharon's condition to which he responded no. He asked if our concern was because were Jewish. "No," The Uglier Truth replied, "We just didn't want to feel left out."

     Subsequently, a doctor entered the room and gave the patient, who was then complaining of chest pains, a glass of water. The Uglier Truth asked if something more could be done for the patient than lukewarm water. The doctor, obviously distressed, replied, Im afraid not. If he were someone important we could do much more but, as it stands now, this is the extent of what we can offer.

     The doctor asked if we had questions about the patience's condition that he could answer before he left to which we replied, "No," and ended the interview. The Uglier Truth would like to have learned more about the patient's prognosis but we didn't want to get scooped on the dog story.

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Update — The Uglier has learned that the heart attack victim featured in this story recently passed away. The hospital released the following statement: “Even after administering more than a dozen glasses of water to the patient, he passed away later that night. It was obvious that, unlike Sharon, Cheney and some of the more important patients that have suffered serious illnesses, he didn't have the strength to fight on.

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