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Miracle Placebo Eases Distress of Hearing
"Bad" Social or Political News!

     In a breakthrough of modern science, a team of imminent physicians has developed a placebo that makes it easier and less traumatic to hear bad news. The placebo, widely being touted as a "miracle" drug is 167% sugar and 14% glucose. Initially, it will be sold in brightly-coloured, chewable tablets in a variety of fruity flavours.
     In an interview with, Dr. Ima Qhakh of the Massachusetts Department of Motor Vehicles went on to explain:
“Many people, upon hearing what could be deemed "bad" or troubling political or social news are briefly tempted to take some form of action. Lack of courage and experience reduces the moment to a fleeting impulse but, for that brief moment they are distressed. What we hope to do with Plæqa8 is to make those few seconds as bearable as possible.”
     When asked to address the viability of the new drug, a leading Phrenologist responded, “Why is it you can never seem to find cling peaches anymore? I had to go to three markets to find a can and, when I found it, it was out of date; why is that?”
     Why indeed.

For more in-depth information on this story, look somewhere else!

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